5/26/25 3:28 AM
i think people are too optimistic too an extent. i feel as if there is little to no Hopeful future left for me or any of my friends. maybe a successful future, with lovers and money but not actual real hope.
i don't want to be a pessimist either, because that's just generally being an asshole half the time to anyone blindly or not blindly hopeful. i just feel like there's not a future left for me
i might be able to afford a house in the future, we might be bombed. i don't think i'll ever think I'M successful. i don't think i've ever genuinely thought without doubt that anything creative i've made is good.
there's not really much left to build either, so creativity is the next best thing. there's no more land to explore, almost nothing left to make. everything is, or atleast feels, that it's taken. i have no oppertunity left.
because of this, i don't think i'll ever realisticly leave a mark on this world. especially musically, art wise, or writing wise. i'll be the same body in kentucky right next to me in the graveyard.
it sucks.